The New Normal

It has been so wonderful to be here in Ohio with my parents, able to visit family and friends in the surrounding areas. We are so thankful for them. I wonder how many people know that they can live with their parents at any point in their lives, no matter how many kids they might have or how much of an inconvenience they might be, and feel as though they are right at home and no inconvenience at all. My parents sacrifice so much for us to stay with them, and we are so incredibly grateful for their generosity and love!

We only have two more days here in the Midwest, and then we begin a new phase of our lives in the South. It's overwhelming, exciting, wonderful, scary... all at the same time. There have been lots of times that I have wondered what we have gotten ourselves into. What were we thinking taking a job so far away from family? Why am I the one working? What is life going to look like down there? Will we fit in? Will we find friends and a good church family? And I have to continually remind myself that this is the way that God has provided for us. He knows what is going on. He has a plan, and it is a good plan. In fact, it is a wonderful plan - to grow us and prosper us. I have to let go of my pride and be okay with the fact that Brian will get to spend time with our girls at home while I am at work. (I know this will be so precious and good for him, but I don't want to admit it because I also know how much I loved being home with Peyton for the past two years!) It's also hard to know what to get involved with and what not to. There are so many opportunities here, but sometimes you really have to make an effort in a new environment, while still somehow maintaining a balance of family time and focusing on transitioning well. Right now, my prayer is that Brian and I will find mutual friends at church that we will be able to hang out with. I also am praying that we will find a couple of things to be involved in and that that will be enough for this first year. Thankfully, there are quite a few people around us who seem to understand or empathize with our transition.

I still find it hard to drink water from the tap here. I am not used to having to take care of my vehicles - filling them up with gas, washing them, vacuuming them, etc. My standard of clean has definitely changed since living in China. I am feeling a little more afraid again as I see and hear about all of the violence that goes on here in the States. I miss my normal life - knowing what each day is going to look like. But, I look forward to creating a new normal! This next year just seems so up in the air still as Brian looks for a new job and we try to decide if we want to stay in the South.

We have had a couple of really great days with my brother and sister-in-law, and we are so thankful for them! I feel like we are all finally kind of on the same page in life, and I look forward to growing a lot closer to them now that we are back. It's been weird being treated by them for lunch, etc. and watching them be grown-ups in their home, but it has also been really nice! I hope that we can return the favor when they come to visit us! :)

I am really hoping that I can focus on being thankful this year, and I am praying for strength and wisdom to trust God and continue to walk in His way for us as a family.

July 3… still no Internet

Many of you have probably heard by now about the severe thunderstorm that blew across the States, hitting some cities harder than others. While most of our city has gone without power all together for the past few days, we have been fortunate to have power. Yesterday, our cable came on, but we still do not have Internet. I knew I relied on the Internet a lot, but I have been especially missing it most recently for things like looking up definitions and information, buying items and paying bills, and connecting with others.

Brian and I have everything sorted and organized at my parent’s house. We head out on Thursday to go up to Indiana and pick up our stuff from his Dad’s house. Then, we will need to organize all of that stuff all over here again. It’s kind of crazy to think we only have a couple more weeks here of “vacation” before we move on and get into our “real” lives in North Carolina.

Brian and I have been watching TV a little more now that it is back on again, and I have been amazed at some of the commercials that are on for public viewing, specifically the commercial for the new movie called “Ted.” Really? Wow. It disgusts me every time I see it. And then we saw a preview for a show about babies who are born addicted to all kinds of drugs, and I literally started crying at the thought of those precious babes who are taken advantage of from birth. I know that there are people out there who do stand up for what is right and are willing to take responsibility for their actions, but I am broken by the number of people my age and in my generation who don’t want to take responsibility for anything. My heart just aches from seeing so much selfishness and junk across our nation – and across the world. Sometimes, I wish I could live in ignorance. Because I cannot (and should not), I begin to ask what I can do to make a difference and stand up for what is right! I guess sometimes it comes in the small things like making sure that the lady who was helping us in the self check-out in Wal-Mart scanned all of my items. She literally seemed broken and so thankful when I finished checking out, checked my receipt and took one chicken out to scan it again because it got skipped for some reason. It’s a shame to me that it actually crossed my mind to “not worry about it” and just continue on home. As for those poor babies, maybe God will open a door for me to do something to help support, love, and care for them one day.

In other, lighter news, I have started trying to get Taylor to take a bottle, and it just is not happening. I have one month to get her to take it – please pray with me that she will! I don’t have any other choice, and neither will she, but I would love it if whoever is taking care of her doesn’t have to fight her to eat.

Brian and Dad have been working together to build a stair on my parent’s deck in hopes of eventually also adding a pergola (look it up if you don’t know what it is – I didn’t). There are so many words and things that I have no idea about, like spray sunscreen. Yeah, who knew! We went to Arby’s today for lunch. I ordered a small meal and Brian thought for sure it was at least a medium, so he ordered a medium (extra large in China). We decided that we might be able to eat there because we could order a Medium meal (maybe large) and feed our whole family. The issue will be deciding on what sandwich to choose. We won’t be eating out much once we move, which is a good thing in a lot of ways... This means I actually have to start thinking about meals! Yikes!

Okay, well, that’s a lot of rambling. Just one more little update on our girls:

Peyton is a stinker sometimes, but she is also so much fun! We went swimming this morning. Peyton jumped in the water all by herself and did so great swimming around! Taylor actually held herself up in a float in the water and LOVED just floating around. This will probably be a daily activity for us once we get down to NC. We LOVE swimming and being outside in minimal clothing when it is so warm! Taylor is jabbering a ton, smiling, and laughing a little here and there. Peyton stuns everyone with her vocabulary and wit. They love their Nana and Papa, and Nana and Papa take such amazing care of them – loving on them so much! Their love has been such an incredible and precious gift. I am so thankful for the time that we have with them! We love you Nana and Papa!

Signing off for now… Katie J

Digging through the past...

I have had so many thoughts on my mind lately as I have been digging into old pictures and old letters from friends and loved ones – keepsakes that are now being kept or tossed as I move on in my life. I have been overwhelmed by the love shown to me throughout my life through dear friends and loved ones. Colleen Barrows, I continue to find note after note from you encouraging me and reminding me of how much you love me! What a blessing you have been in my life! I think these past seven years abroad have grown me, but they have also hardened me quite a bit. So much of the romance of life seems to have disappeared. Part of that is this new stage in life called being a parent. Part of it is because I have forgotten how beautiful and peaceful and evening sky can be on any given night here in the States.

Coming back to B-town in and of itself always brings with it so many memories of great times in my past – some times that I am not so fond of and others that I wish I could have over and over again. My parents allowed me to have such an amazing childhood, full of wonder and excitement. They never stifled me, and they always encouraged me to be me. I never felt like I was an embarrassment to them or that they were ashamed of me in any way, and I am so thankful for that! I hope my kids feel the same thing from Brian and me.

Because I have lived away and out of this town since I have been married, it is always a little awkward to come home. “Home” has changed in so many ways, but the memories that I hold here always return and come flooding back. It leaves a weird feeling in my gut. My life almost doesn’t even seem like the same life. It’s as though I lived a life pre-20s that radically changed and probably won’t ever go back. Do others experience this? I know we all grow up and move on, but do other people get this?

Since we have been home, so many people have asked me if I am glad to be back. I guess I am, but for the most part I don’t know how to feel yet. It still feels very unreal, and in some ways painful because we don’t have our own roots and connections here yet. We have our families, but they feel like vacation – so relaxing and comfortable. I don’t know what life looks for us yet as a family – working and paying bills, finding a church family, etc.

I guess all I can hope for right now is that God will bring the romance of His beauty back into my life, and that I will share that with my husband and girls. I am longing to be in His presence and see His face anew. I want to know Him more. I want to be a shining light for Him.

Our community experienced a severe storm last night, and it literally took out homes. It looks like the destruction of a tornado, and oddly, I find myself somewhat enjoying the fact that the community does not have power right now. People are out clearing branches and trees off of their houses. People are going without air conditioning, internet, landline phones, cable, etc. Wal-Mart is closed, along with many other businesses. McDonalds was booming today – of course, they would be prepared for this type of catastrophe and be open for service. I hate that homes have been destroyed, meat has gone rotten, and historical buildings have been defaced, but I love that people are helping each other out, getting out of their houses, meeting in the churches, and feeling what it is like to be in need again. It’s amazing how our perspectives can change when things like this happen.

And this brings me back to my findings in the basement – so many handwritten letters from friends and loved ones because there didn’t used to be cell phones. I wasn’t always available when I was away at camp or on a trip. And I have those letters today because they impacted my life so much! Here’s to the old! While I must get rid of some of those random pictures and articles, I am so thankful for the reminder of His providence in my past, and I am blown away at how much I took things for granted. Lord, thank you for friends and loved ones who loved on me over and over again. Bless them abundantly, and let me never forget the love that you have shown to me through them. I praise you, Lord, for you are Good!

Life in the States... still not "normal"

Well, in the past two weeks, we have been from China to Chicago to Indiana to Ohio to North Carolina and back to Ohio. We have been living out of suitcases and making huge decisions for our family. We visited the school that I will be working at, turned in more applications for Brian, were approved for renter's insurance, car insurance, are the owners of a Jeep and minivan, and tenants of an apartment in Charlotte. We finally got a couple of days for rest at my parents house, and yesterday we started going through all of our stuff in the basement. I wish we had time for a garage sale, but I think most of our stuff that we decide to get rid of will either end up in the trash or at Goodwill. Right now, we are making piles of stuff to take with us, stuff to get rid of, a "maybe" pile to take with us, and a pile to leave here until we have more space in a house (thanks Mom and Dad!). We promise not to leave too much stuff here. :) These are the times when I actually feel a bit envious of the migrant workers in China and around the world who carry their lives on their backs. It reminds me of Jesus not holding onto earthly things and not having a specific place here on earth to call home. I wonder why we have so much stuff, but then I am so thankful that we do have so much and don't have to go and buy everything all over again. The item I was most excited about was my crock pot! It will be used a ton this next year! The items I was least excited about were the boxes and portfolios of artwork and pictures from my years pre-digital photography that I have to sort through and decide if I want to keep or chuck them. Brian and I are both in "trash it" mode right now, which I think is a good thing, but I still have to sort through it! Brian sorted through tons of baseball cards over the last couple of days, and has brought his stash down to a couple of boxes. We have to do this all over again in Indiana with his stuff that is all stored in a storage unit at the moment, since his Dad is moving.

While I am excited to get settled, I am also a little sad that we are going to be away from family. It has been so nice to have Mom and Dad around... and taking care of all of us! Peyton LOVES spending time with Papa. She looks forward to him coming home everyday, asks him to give her baths and tuck her in at night. He spends so much time reading through stories with her and loving on her! Taylor gets her cuddle time in too whenever she can. Nana takes care of and spoils the girls everyday all day. She is so wonderful to them, and they LOVE her! They have her wrapped around their fingers. I am so thankful for such fabulous family - who love us, take care of us, and pour generosity on us!

As I have been looking at budgeting for this upcoming year, I am beyond thankful for Brian's sisters and all of the stuff they have passed down to us to use for our girls. Our budget will definitely be tight, so not having to worry about clothes and cribs and car seats, etc. is such a blessing!

Well, Brian and I have a night home alone, so we made some popcorn, have caught up on some random things like this blog, watched some magic show and are now watching America's Got Talent... yeah, we're pretty lame these days! Oh, and I have to mention how thankful I am for the amazing, beautiful country side here in Ohio. Love this weather and these skies!

In other news, Taylor is rolling over all the time now, talking quite a bit, and still not liking dairy. Peyton is talking A LOT, loves spending time with her Nana and Papa, and goes over to the neighbor's house every other day to get eggs from the chicken house and visit with the roosters. She waters flowers with her "sprinkle bottle," picks veggies from the garden with Nana, plays in her pool, and loves playing "Go Fish." She is definitely missing little friends though. We went to the play ground the other day, and she didn't know what to do with herself without anyone to play with her. Brian and I had to climb around on the slides and stuff to help her understand that it wasn't scary, but fun, and show her how to do some of the things. I can't wait for her to have some friends to play with! She snuggles with Taylor on the floor a lot when she is awake and playing on her play mat.

Well, that's it for now. I will try to get some pics on here at some point - just too lazy to do it right now.

Katie :)

Saying Goodbye...

I am sitting in the love seat in our living room, looking out over the apartments of a people who have changed my life forever over the past seven years. It is fitting that an airplane just flew over, as we leave for the airport in just 1 1/2 hours to leave this place indefinitely. The people here have impacted us in so many ways. Some good, some bad. It is most definitely a test of character to live here in Chengdu. Rules aren't really rules, people stare at you and tell you your children are not warm enough, and every now and then you are ditched by the old lady throwing elbows and yelling at every one in sight. However, as I leave here, I choose to remember those things as opportunities to grow in patience, kindness, and love. I think about all of the amazing adventures that Brian and I have had here, and I think about all of the people (Chinese and foreign - most commonly meaning North Americans) who have loved me and shown me so much grace as we have ventured these first seven years of our lives together. The tears have not hit me yet, and I wonder if that is because there is so much to do once we land on US soil again, or if it is just because I am so incredibly thankful for God's providence on this journey. He has brought us here, and he calls us "home." He guides our steps, and I leave this place with confidence that He will sustain us in everything. I have already witnessed this truth for the past seven years, and I look forward to seeing Him over and over again in the leading of our path.

We came here after being married for two weeks. We spent five years with no kids, traveling the amazing country of P.R. China. We poured our lives into this city and our school. We landed here without knowing a lick of Chinese. Our apartment was surprisingly beautiful. The city did not expand much past 2nd Ring Road. We rode our bikes everywhere - yes, even to the bulk market. We bought a scooter pretty quickly. We met lifelong family friends - some we already even knew from the States.

We made a ton of amazing memories in the middle of everything...

And now we leave a family of four with two beautiful little girls who bring us blessing beyond measure! We take one last long flight (hopefully for a while). We can hold a simple conversation in Chinese. The city has expanded beyond 3rd Ring Road. We leave our motorcycle and scooter for a motorcycle, Jeep, and minivan in the U.S. We say goodbye (but not forever) to our lifelong friends and look forward to catching up with the ones who left us long ago. We thank God for all that he has made us in our time here, and we move on...

I am thankful on this day, as I leave this land, not knowing if we will ever be back, or if I will ever see some of my dear Chinese friends again. I am thankful for the conversations held, the hearts poured out, and the way that our world views have been changed and remodeled. We leave here a very different people from when we came. Thank you, Lord! Thank you!